I often hear early on from people seeking therapy that they’re not sure if it’s stress or burnout or even anxiety that they need help with. Regardless, they want to know what’s going on with themselves and what they need to do about it because they are ready for a change. Let’s dive in and explore a bit.
We need both the right language and the ability to look internally to figure out your answer. Let’s start with language. The first step in understanding what is going on is making sure that we understand what we actually mean by stress, anxiety, and burnout.
BURNOUT
Burnout has been on my mind for well over a decade now, so I have some thoughts. When I pull everything I’ve learned together I can say this about burnout. It’s complicated and not everyone agrees about exactly what it is. But there are definitely some similarities in how researchers, writers, and those who’ve lived it talk about it.
1. There is a common element of emotional and/or physical exhaustion.
2. You feel less accomplished/fulfilled/productive/effective etc. with whatever you’re doing.
3. Your mood changes.
4. Stress is involved.
I really appreciate how Emily and Amelia Nagoski talk about burnout. My interpretation of what they say is essentially burnout happens when our stressors outweigh our ability to manage the stress over and over again. We essentially get stuck in the stress cycle. They say a whole lot more too, but that’s not what you’re looking for here. 😉
Notice that stress is an essential aspect of burnout. That means if you are burned out, you are also stressed. And if you are stressed, you may or may not be burned out (yet).
Brené Brown has put so much research, effort, time, energy, and truly herself, into understanding complicated feelings and experiences. She’s definitely onto something and explains things in a way that people can understand. Let’s go to her explanations of stress , anxiety, and more.
STRESS & ANXIETY
In her book, Atlas of the Heart, Brené puts both stress and anxiety under the category of “places we go when things are uncertain or too much.” (Notice the “too much” similarity to burnout). She also pairs stressed and overwhelmed together. To start, she says “we feel stressed when we evaluate environmental demand as beyond our ability to cope successfully this includes elements of unpredictability, uncontrollability and feeling overloaded.” Stress in this view is short-term.
Overwhelmed is slightly different. In her definition; overwhelmed means” an extreme level of stress and emotional and or cognitive intensity to the point of feeling unable to function.“ This too is typically short-term in my experience. It is stress to the highest degree for that moment.
And let’s not forget about anxiety. Anxiety can be either a state (in the moment) or trait (that is relatively stable over time). Either way the APA defines it as “an emotion characterized by feelings of tension, worried thoughts and physical changes like increased blood pressure.” In my experience, as humans we can experience anxiety for many reasons, stress being only one of them, but an importantly common element of feelings of anxiety.
HOW BURNOUT APPEARS
Let’s pull it all together…
- Cynicism
- Detachment
- Exhaustion
- Trouble getting yourself to work (or school, etc.)
- Irritability
- Decreased ability to concentrate
- Decreased productivity
- Feeling ineffective
- Lack of feeling accomplished
- Dissatisfaction
- Using food, alcohol, or drugs to feel better
- Unexplained physical problems (headaches, stomach issues, etc.)
- Feeling overwhelmed
- Feeling emotionally drained
- Inability to meet constant demands
If you really think about it, you’ll see that if you essentially add up stress, overwhelm, and anxiety and keep them ongoing so you rarely get a break – you get burnout. That is exactly why so many people don’t know what to label their experience. Excessive stress, leading to overwhelm and anxiety over time create burnout. So the answer, if you are asking yourself this question, is it is HIGHLY LIKELY that you either already are burned out or you are on the road there. I truly am sorry to deliver the bad news, but the sooner you know, the sooner you can do something about it.
Some of us are more or less likely to reach burnout than others, and to do it more quickly. That’s ok. It depends on our personal and work circumstances, past experiences, internal resources, and external supports. There is nothing wrong or bad about you if you’re experiencing burnout. We all have our breaking points and just because it takes someone longer to break than you, it doesn’t mean their ability to cope is one that isn’t causing them problems in other ways or will work for the long-term.
BY NOW YOU ARE PROBABLY WONDERING… GREAT, I KNOW WHAT IS, AND IT FEELS HOPELESS, SO WHAT CAN I ACTUALLY DO ABOUT BURNOUT?
Managing and preventing burnout requires a combination of two things. One is adjusting the demands (or stressors) and the other is increasing your ability to cope (in a healthy way). The same is true for stress and anxiety. If you want support for burnout, anxiety and stress; the most effective tool I’ve found is therapy. I’m not gonna lie, this was a bit of a surprise for me when I discovered it (after trying to quit, plan, and life-hack my way out of burnout). But take a step back and think about this for a moment…
You didn’t end up stressed out, overwhelmed, and burned out because you wanted to. There are aspects of yourself that helped get you here. Perhaps a part that feels a deep need to take care of others. A voice inside that says you “should” be able to do it all. A piece of you that struggles to say no. Maybe you consider yourself a people pleaser or conflict avoider. Or you’re a planner that makes sure every minute of every day is used to its maximum efficiency. And when all that doesn’t work avoidance works really well (until it doesn’t anymore) whether you do that by drinking it all away or endlessly watching a good netflix binge. I want you to know that it is okay to have these parts of yourself. They have helped serve you in the best way they could. In fact, I am confident these strategies have been protective for you at different points in your life. And it is also ok if you want to make some changes. We can do that.
Recovery from burnout is possible.
If you are ready to look within and explore what got you to this point so you can make some long-lasting changes in your life, schedule a complimentary call with me today using the button below. We’ll get you on the path to feeling calm and confident again.
If you aren’t sure yet, check out my burnout therapy page.
P.S.
I don’t want to go too far off on a tangent here, but if you are feeling worse than what I described above; like decreased empathy and compassion for people, trauma-like responses even though you haven’t experienced trauma directly yourself, you are more likely to be dealing with compassion fatigue or vicarious trauma. This is especially true if you work in any sort of helping profession where others have experienced awful things. That’s something therapy helps with too.
